Going to the Doctors

I'm still here. Last week I was ill and didn't do anything.. except pilates last Monday. I rode my bike some Sunday night. I have gone to Pilates twice this week and feel good about that. This PF injury is still causing me a lot of grief!

So, I've been trying various things to help my PF pain. Golf balls massaging my arch, walking barefoot on gravel trails, stretching. Still, if I walk around, just doing normal daily activities, the pain at night and in the morning is excruciating. Yesterday I ran a few errands and walked with my very pregnant, due any day client who I could hardly keep up with- she walked way faster and farther than I had anticipated! Embarrassing for me, but true.

I read today that many people suffering from this say it feels like someone is stabbing them in the foot... same thing I've been telling my husband for weeks. And, it just sneaks up on you and BAM! I have a high pain tolerance but this makes me want to bawl my eyes out. Even when the pain isn't the sharp, stabbing pain it is a dull ache.

Reading more about this is a double -edged sword. I've found out that cycling can actually cause more pain/inflammation. Good to know. There goes my "safe" exercise option... the only one that seems to be recommended is swimming so I'm going to start that soon. Maybe tomorrow. Also, some stretches that are recommended are controversial- such as the calf stretch on the stairs which I find painful but have been doing thinking it would help! I found some alternative ones that feel better and I'll let that guide me.

It is kind of depressing to read the message boards about this injury. Some people have suffered for YEARS, despite cortisone shots and surgery. I am trying to focus on my belief in my body's ability to heal. It's already taken longer than I thought it would though. I thought if I stopped running for a couple weeks it would just heal up...

I'm scaling back on commitments and holiday shopping. Some things are just are not going to get done. Will has helped me realize that the only thing I haven't tried is something that is said to be very helpful...rest. Although with the illness last week I gave it a few days!

Hopefully the doctor tomorrow will have some good advice and will get me in a "boot" to wear at night- it keeps the calf muscle stretched and the PF tendon relaxed.

"I need to open myself to the possibilities here and now"

That is what I wrote in my journal this morning. Since my husband took a different job here, after we considered moving back to Utah or closer to Utah, I have been mourning the loss of being nearer my Utah family, friends, and the mountains. In doing so, I know I've been missing out on the love all around me here. I have not really invested in many friendships here, and then I wonder why I don't feel as close to some friends here as I did in Utah. I have not actively looked for a new mountain biking gang, because I was so lost in the feeling of missing my old one. And, although I've found beautiful places here in Texas, there is always beauty in nature, I know my eyes and heart have not been completely open. Until my bike ride this afternoon!

On a whim, I detoured from my usual "mountain bike" ride along a side walk. I had rationalized this was good training for mountain biking some day. Adrenaline from cars stopping at the stop signs just the nick of time. Swerving from sidewalk, to crossing road, to sidewalk.. surprisingly you have to be a little bit aware and agile!

Anyway, I have passed a two lane dirt road every ride. I look at it and go on. Today I just took it. I've always been a little worried it was private property, so much is here. But, I saw no sign. I followed it to a place it overlooks a clear river. I stayed there for a few minutes just listening. Five minutes from the road I found a little escape. Then I noticed a little trail, off of the steep hill on my side. I sent a text to Will, as I thought someone should know my general whereabouts! And, I found a roller coaster ride, sounds of water flowing and wind in the trees and birds singing, loose rocks and loose dirt, sharp turning, stream crossing, steep inclining, crunchy fall leaf laden, challenging roots crisscrossing (where once or twice I wondered if I was headed over my handle bars), TRUE MOUNTAIN BIKE RIDE!!! WHOOO HOO. One of my favorite places to ride in Utah was a little neighborhood park, 15 minutes away at the base of the mountains. Occasionally you would see houses, but you FELT like you were away from it all. That is how I felt today.

I won't bore you with my weight training stats today:) But off I go to work my legs a little bit more!

1 hour+ (who cares!) mountain bike ride

This one's dedicated to Kim and Valeria!

Because Kim called to talk and listen, and she was going to find time tonight to exercise so I said I would too. Mostly I had to find energy. Valeria because she is just a motivating, energetic person, a SERIOUS runner, who is giving me lots of great advice... best of all might be to WAIT for this PF injury to heal. It was great visiting her and Baby Nico today. During my lunch date with Will we came up with a good t-shirt for me if I try running the marathon.. maybe really slowly.. maybe only part of it. My t-shirt could read: "Seriously PF'd".

Today I RAN!!! Errands. :) Seriously though, they are tiring.

After my conversation with Kim, I didn't quite get on my bike (on the trainer as it is a cold 50 degrees here today... too cold for biking outside). But I did my weight training. I've started alternating arms and legs every day. For two days now:) After I record it all once though I don't really like to go through it all again. Since it is the only thing I have to report today.. here it is:

CORE
*Crunches on the ball: 50+50+50=150 (Since pilates I love that I can focus the movement ON MY ABS, I never realized how I'd swing my arms, back, etc instead of just letting my abs do the work!)
*Obliques "": 25e+25e+50e=100 each side
*Elev Plank: 20 sec + 20 seconds= 40 seconds (up from 24s total yesterday!)
*Low ab ball pass off: 12+24=36
*Pilates 100s: 30+25=55
*Hula: 25 rotations each side

Shoulders
*Standing w/ 5lb weights: 12+12=24
*Triceps
Above head w/10 lbs: 20+20=40
Lifting self with arms behind me on stair: 24+12=36
*Biceps w/10: 12+24=36
*Chest
Lying on floor: 5lb 24 reps, 10lb 24 reps, 5 lb 24 reps
*Pushups: 12+12=24 on knees
AND 3 Regular (I know, wimpy.. these are SO hard for me.. and it was towards the end of my work out so tired arms)

75 Degrees and Cycling Bliss

DISTANCE: 14 miles
Time: 55:30

Today I went to Pflugerville, the town south of us that we've trained a lot in for our long rides- it is farm land with little traffic. After my injury, even road biking and pointing my toe would hurt my PF quite a bit. So, I've been only mountain biking. It felt good most of the way, but there were a few twinges that were painful.

It was a perfect cycling day. 75 degrees, sunny, and somewhat windy. As I looked down to see I was going 26 MPH (when the wind was at my back) and just moderately working, I remembered what I love about this sport. It really is amazing how fast you go, how much you see. Sometimes I feel like I am flying.

Still, I noticed it doesn't quiet my brain like running does. I was worrying and planning over Christmas gifts, my son getting home from school, and little things. Running is hard enough for me that it is all encompassing, my breath and the rhythm of my feet lull my brain to silence. There was more traffic (it's been steadily increasing as they opened the toll road by it), and I remembered, some cars do not slow down and drive way to close for comfort. Then I spend energy considering ways to make drivers give me the space they legally have to- a bar extended out that far on the sides of my bike, perhaps with a old key welded on it that would scratch the hell out of their car if they come to close?? Yet, there is no way to even up a human and a car, and I know I would end up the one worse for wear in any of my revenge fantasies.

Cool Fall Ride

We got back from Dallas today, and a wonderful Thanksgiving. I got ready to go and hopped on my bike. Heel was hurting from a walk we took with Jeanie's family yesterday.. yep a WALK. After a week off running, I still can't walk over a mile without a lot of pain afterwards.

At 3:30 pm I took off to the gym. It was 50-60 degrees. On a bike it feels cooler. I know, I know, those of you in Utah are in REALLY cold weather:) But, to me, this feels cold. It was nice once I warmed up on the way there, I didn't need my cycling arm warmers. It smells like Fall right now. I love it. I love crunching through leaves and acorns.

Spent some time doing my normal weight routine and some time on abs. I'm learning some great stuff in my pilates class. All in all I rode about an hour. Maybe a little less as I was VERY cold on the ride home and it was getting dark.

The cardinals are back!!!

Learning Experience

So, I ran Sunday. I ran for almost 2 hours at a slow pace. Will had the GPS and ran 11. I have no idea how far I ran, and I did walk a few times because of pain. Not the pain in my heel, that warmed up and felt pretty good. But, the outside of my other knee! So, either my form is messed up due to the injury and I was overcompensating with that side or my muscles just aren't used to the new running form I'm trying to use- abs in, feet facing straight ahead, chin tucked, etc. Which wasn't as hard as I thought actually! And, I noticed that while I ran on trails I just naturally did most of it.

I am *really* done training for this marathon though. Sunday night and Monday I couldn't put any weight on my sore foot. I'm going to end up needing surgery or something if I keep running. Sunday's run really was so beautiful, perfect cool temperature, fall leaves, Will saying hi and encouraging me when he passed me. It was a good way to end my current running dream.

I like to learn from all my experiences. I've learned that it really is important to start gradually and listen to your body- you may feel tough jumping in and doing way too much, but it will catch up to you. Looking back at my exercise journal I had roller coaster training where I'd run 9-10 miles total, then 15, then 8, 14 etc. Until I got on a training schedule and then I jumped up to 20-25 every week- which was too much given what I had been doing, but at least it was a nice gradual increase from then out. So, next time I do this, I am all about the boring schedule, someone telling me what to do, and less about just running as far as feels good on any given day. I will especially take it nice and slow with the vibrams.

Another thing I've thought a lot about is that while I was running I did eat better in some ways, but I also felt that "if the oven is hot enough anything will burn". I would eat things that weren't very good for me because I figured I had more leeway and wouldn't gain weight. Now, I think that while I was demanding so much of my body I should have been taking extra good care of it.

After not being able to run, I realize I was taking it for granted and that it had become more of a "have to" rather than I "want to". I hope when I can run again, I can focus on how strong my muscles feel after running, how free and peaceful I feel while running (once I get in the zone), and how happy I feel on days I get to run.

I know so much more about running form now, that I'm excited to start over and use my knowledge to hopefully prevent any injuries in the future. When I ran with a better form Sunday I really felt great aerobically- I was running slower I think but usually I breathe hard most the time I run, but breathing felt really EASY! I'm going to work on strengthening my core, weight training, and bike to keep my aerobic level up. When my feet feel totally normal, I'll start training again but nice, slow, and gradual increases.

Am I ready for my long run tomorrow??

I haven't missed one long run yet. I heard that they are the most important part of preparing for a marathon. You can get away with missing a few of the shorter ones, but you need to do the long ones...

To be completely honest, I'm still sore right when I wake up. It takes a few steps for the bottom of my foot to flex. But, MUCH, much better. Yesterday after running a bunch of errands it was also sore. Strange because usually once it warms up it's usually pretty good. I think it might have been the shoes I was wearing.

Anyway, I committed to not run again until I had no pain. It's been a week tomorrow since I ran. I MISS IT! I have not decided about my run tomorrow night. It's supposed to be our longest yet, 11 (up from 8-9, last week on the rest week only 6). I may just try 8 or 9 again, and try to jump back into training Tuesday...

Maybe that gravel walking will work it's magic and I'll wake up PAIN FREE in the morning:)

Discovery

I have a new routine... for now. I'm waking up and stretching first thing. It really is a wonderful way to wake up. Current wisdom has it that you shouldn't stretch right before running, or right after. So, I have some great stretches now for the PF tendon on the bottom of my foot, to prevent it from happening EVER again. I turned one into the Sunrise salutation from yoga as it was similar and I always loved that stretch.

Now, I'm going to exercise in the evening (as I shower at night before bed and I'm tired of two showers a day)!

So,around 3:50 I left on my mountain bike on the less crowded road to the gym. It was a cool 60 degrees or so (I'm not Texas wimpy when it comes to the weather, I'm just THAT FAST, the wind makes me feel cold! He he he.) It only took me 25 minutes to get to the gym, so scratch my last exercise record. It's only about 1 hour instead of 2 (this is why a GPS is good to have along, which I forgot again). I guess overdressing last ride and being SO hot made it feel longer!

At the gym I did some weight lifting (shoulders, biceps and triceps) and the thigh machine again (love that thing, it targets right where I need it!). Bunch of crunches and obliques on the ball.

I walked on the gravel trail behind the gym for 10 minutes, ouch. But, Chi running says it's the fastest way to heal up from PF. Then I followed the beautiful trail that I didn't even know about! What a wonderful discovery:) It looks like it goes quite a ways. I wanted to follow it but it was getting dark and colder. Another day. As a AWESOME bonus, it took me to a better place to cross the busiest road on the way to the gym- a place cars aren't making right hand turns and pretend not to notice that you're waiting to cross on the green light.

I'm adding this in too, because as silly as it sounds, it really has been tough. I read in Chi running about good posture. Spine straight, neck longer so chin is tucked a bit, lower abs contracted, feet hitting evenly and straight forward when you walk. WOW! Just walking around practicing that is giving me a work out. It's a little overwhelming to think about keeping it all in mind while I run- and this is only the first component of good running form! But, as the author points out, every toddler has great running form, partly because they just run when they want and it is for fun. You can see it when kids play tag and they are grinning. I want to run like that!

Pilates!

I rode my mountain bike about an hour to a pilates class. I signed up for a monthly gym membership. Now if you know me, you know gyms aren't really my thing. I'd much prefer exercising outdoors, alone, surrounded by nature and feeling the wind through my hair and the sun on my skin. But, I really want to strengthen my core and crunches on the exercise ball just aren't cutting it. Well, they might if I did it everyday but when I run a lot I skimp on other exercises. It was fun riding my bike to and from the gym. I dressed much to warm though- it's 77 today! And, there was the one lady busily texting that sped right in front of me, as I was starting to cross a cross walk, stopping in the cross walk to turn right. I had to hit the brakes to avoid her. She did roll down her window and apologize... and I just told her it honestly scared me and she may want to think twice before texting and driving next time. What I really wanted to say, and mumbled as I rode off, I won't go into here (as I think my children read this blog) PLEASE, please, people don't text and drive. She had no reason to love me but most of you reading this blog love me- the person you might hit has lots of people who love them. I took a little less crowded road on the way home;)

Anyway, I arrived at the gym early and so I did a little bit of weights. And, that great machine that works your inner thighs. Pilates was awesome and difficult. A lot of the exercises were stretches that felt fabulous. This is only my second class, ever. Some of the moves kicked my butt (or should I say abs) again- although I can tell all that running has helped my core some because I could do some things I couldn't a year or so ago. I did have to just laugh at myself on a couple things! Everyone was very friendly. I'm hoping I can make it to most classes (they are M/W/F).

I walked on a gravely path for 10 minutes again, trying to heal my PF. Heal, heal, heal. The massage Monday night did help, and every day it is feeling a little better. But, still very sore when I first get out of bed.

Today's Exercise:
Ride about 2 hours (forgot my gps again!)
Pilates class 1 hour
Biceps (25 w/ 5 lb weight, 2x25 w/10 lb weight), triceps (25 w/10 lb weight), and shoulders (12 w/5lb weight)
Inner thigh machine (50lbs)

Surrender

This morning when I got out of bed, I couldn't take a step. Pain shot up my heel. I had to hobble, holding on to the wall and doors. I researched plantar fasciitis. What Will, from his reading, and a friend of mine who ran track in college, have diagnosed me with. After reading, it did sound like what I have. Mayo clinic describes it as "pain and inflammation of a thick band of tissue, called the plantar fascia, which runs across the bottom of your foot — connecting your heel bone to your toes." It is most painful after sleeping, or anytime you sit for a long time. When I run it hardly hurts at all. It also sounded like an injury that can take a LONG time to heal (9 months or more,some people never run again). Well, I went back to bed- with ice, elevated my foot, and laid in bed crying and feeling sorry for myself.

Why so upset, I asked myself. I've never really liked running, or felt a natural talent at it, unlike biking where I could power up hills and keep up with most anyone I tried to. Once I finally commit to something, I hate to quit. The stories in Born to Run of ultramarathoners and Africans who can run down prey were inspirational and fired me up to want to run. There are some amazing, mentally and physically strong, humans in the world. It also made me want to run correctly. Ironically, I think it was the time in vibrams, and running correctly that lead to tightened calves, which put stress on my Achilles, and lead to this injury. I think I just rushed things after running incorrectly and having very weak feet from previous ankle injuries.

But, the more I thought about it, the more another plan formed. I will get stronger and then try running again. As I've found out, every muscle is interconnected, and one weak spot can have a domino effect. I keep reading about running from the core- and mine could use some work. So, I looked into pilates classes today. I also plan on doing more weight lifting. And, for aerobics I'll ride. Something I've always really enjoyed.

The money and time I've spent training for this marathon, and registering, is not a waste. I am healthier and stronger for the training I've done so far (well, once I can walk again). I've firmly ingrained daily exercise into my routine. I'm eating healthier.

I kicked myself out of bed, grabbed my mountain bike, and enjoyed a fun ride up Brushy Creek. Surrounded by trees, finally showing signs of fall, butterflies and birds, and a creek's sparkling water on a perfect 75 degree day, it was hard to feel sorry for myself. As I took a bit of a challenging trail off the side of one, and had to turn sharp and then climb steep, I remembered I love mountain biking. So, if this is all I can do for now, I'm grateful and happy.

I did try walking on the crushed granite (a remedy for PF in a book called Chi Running) and soaked it in the cold river. You all are my witnesses- I will not run again until my heel feels perfectly normal (even in the morning). But, I can help it along a little...

Tonight I am looking forward to my friend and fellow doula coming to give me, and especially my foot, a massage.

Is now the time to change my blog title? No, because some day I am going to run a marathon. I am surrendering to the very real possibility I may not run the marathon in February, but I still have hope someday I can run one. For readers of this blog, you'll have to be as patient as I am:)

Today's Exercise:
Bike ride (didn't keep track of time or distance today)
Crunches and Obliques
Weights- arms and legs

Better late than never...

Well, around 5:00 tonight I finally decided I would run today. This week was a rest day, so rather than the normal 8 or 9 we only had to do 6. I took yesterday off to let my ankle/PF injury heal a bit. It felt almost better so I ran. It went quite good, as long as I watched my form. My heel was still sore, especially as I warmed up. Went to Pflugerville Lake. It was nice- cool breeze off the lake, families having fun together, birds, protein snacks as the sun starting sinking and all the bugs came out...

It might have been best to take today off too, and just start a new week Tuesday. But, I really like how I feel when I run now, and miss it when I don't. I'm getting used to the daily endorphins. I feel happier, eat better, sleep more soundly.

Okay, I'm going to start recording miles and time at the bottom of my blog entries:
6 miles
1 hour 2 minutes
Avg: 10:26/mile
Max: 7:11/mile

I should have said no,I should have stayed home..

When I noticed that I was not as unscathed as I thought from yesterday's ankle twist, while putting on my running shoes today and noticing a puffy and bruised area close to my heel, I should have stayed home. My heel was a little sore when I woke up, but my ankle felt fine. Well, a mile into the run, I had to walk and I walked most of the remaining two miles. Wishing for a neighbor I knew to drive by so I could flag them down! It hurt even to walk. Some of it was from wearing vibrams yesterday, my calves felt like they had boulders in them, but most of it was a very sore ankle down by the heel. After a bit of a cry when I got home, I'm just going to do what luckily I know well how to do, nurse this ankle and hope I can jump back into my training soon. Luckily tomorrow is my one day off a week! I'm guessing it may take longer though.

List of Inspiration

This list is not in a specific order, but they are things that I think about while running that give me energy and happiness.

#1 My dogs. They run and chase each other in circles, cutting in front of each other, racing in and out of rooms, ears back, excitedly yapping, joyful. They take turns instigating the chase. This morning the chase continued from outside to inside. Zeus jumped up on the couch, uninvited, so I told him to get down. He leaped over the BACK of the couch, right in front of Rose, which, of course, led to more chasing! They also run after squirrels, never giving up, thinking each and every day this might be the day as they explode out the door.

#2 William, going on 40 this year, and signing up for a marathon to celebrate! His energy and drive continues to inspire me. And, he's a great planner. Just like training for the long bike rides we did, he found a good, gradual plan for us to run this marathon. I exercise regularly just because I like how it makes me feel, but Will is good at setting a BIG goal and planning the small steps to get there. He has also has researched and read a lot about running, and shares it with me.

#3 The new moms I know. They run after a few hours of sleep, waking up early before their husbands leave for work. Pure commitment that I find amazing. My excuses get caught in my mouth every time I think of these ladies.

#4 My mom who has never really thought of herself as strong. Though she had three out of four of us without medication (the last one did a flip the day before her birth and was breech so my mom had a cesarean.) One of us with Pitocin.. which as I've seen at client's births create crazy intense contractions. I always admired her dancing calves growing up, and hope all this running will create some of my very own!

#5 My kids. Luke and Amelia amaze me. Luke was voted "most improved player" in his football team. It was all the extra work he put in, on top of the almost daily scheduled practices, that paid off. Any weakness he saw, he worked on. One day when I didn't feel like running, I asked him what he did when he didn't feel like going to football. He said "I do it anyway." Amelia amazed me in her dance performance last week. She really is beautiful, graceful, and strong. She dares to do things that scare me, performing in front of a huge crowd, twirling and skating backwards on one leg on ice.

#5 My sister Cheryl who not only summits mountains, but makes the trails to get there. Her example graduating college while working also inspires me. She teaches me so much it often seems she should be my big sister.

#6 My sister Jenna who has the hardest pregnancies of anyone I know, but still manages to do so much for her family and extended family, church, and neighbors. I think her capacity to love fuels her.

#7 My brother Jeremy who despite injuries and surgeries continuous to push himself hard personally, coach his kids sports teams, and take scouts on hikes.

#8 My Dad. He taught me to be active, and strong, through example. He can no longer do very much because of a back injury from a helicopter crash he was in, and I know he would if he could. So, I run for him. He always had amazing endurance. He'd work 10 hours hiking as a wild life biologist, then take off for a run. He'd come home from fighting wildfires and want to take us kids swimming, teach us to bike, throw the football, play basketball. He always seemed full of energy.

#9 My mountain biking gang. The friendliest, and sometimes fiercest competition I've ever experienced in sports. Page, the rabbit, who would speed off up hills and race down them while I, more of the turtle, would go slow and steady. Sometimes she'd tire out and in time I'd pass by, sometimes she'd crash but only because she was fearless. Kim, the mountain goat, who could get her bike up the steepest hill. Who had more challenges than anyone to stay healthy because of Rheumatoid Arthritis, but ate well and kept exercising despite the pain. And, Cindy, who taught me it's okay to be at the back of the pack, enjoying nature. After four natural childbirths I think she knew she was strong, and that confidence let her accept her own pace and not get caught up in the competition. She stuck with it until she was often in the lead, but still seemed to be there just for the fun of it.

#10 Kids running. Just to run. Laughing and running!

There's more...

Fall Weather

Today was 55. Great running weather. Cool and refreshing. The rest of the week, in the 70s. Still nice compared to summer runs:)

Oh, and squirrels right now are CRAZY. On my cross training day Monday I rode my bike at a nearby trail and they were darting back and forth in front of me, making these noises. Then one, honestly, jumped from the bridge, paws out in front. Scared? Aggressive? Not sure, but I was scared! I guess all that work preparing for winter, gathering food, is stressing them out.

I love my vibrams

Okay, first, if you don't know what they are check it out at http://www.vibramfivefingers.com/

I LOVE them because I stepped in a hole in the grass today, and what would have once sent me crashing to the ground with a sprained ankle, was nothing. Well, a little sore for a few steps. I felt my foot just correct itself, flexible without a shoe, and off I went. Anyone who knows me and my weak ankles, that can sprain on a small rock, knows this is AMAZING for me! Maybe some of it is that I'm just getting stronger after weeks of running 20 or so miles a week. I'm just very happy as I feel myself get stronger and faster. I actually hit 6:54 miles/ hour on yesterday's run.. for a minute or so:)

And, now a couple warnings. If you decide to try vibrams, ease into it. A lot of us have weak feet due to the casts we call shoes. For a long time, it really burned my lower calf muscle, and Will got actual sores from the rubbing (he may need some kind of sock, or perhaps with time calluses will develop). I was also painfully slow, which is painful only because I'm already slow (about 10 or 11 minute miles depending on how far I go). I've only been able to go one mile in them every week until today when I did three and felt great.

Priorities

Already training is teaching me to prioritize. Friday, my rest day, I cleaned and did yard work. We were having company and I wanted everything to look great. I ignored my limits and pushed myself to exhaustion. Then, I stayed up too late. Saturday I paid the price. My muscles burned. My Achilles tendon was stiff, and hurt, to the point I had to walk a few times. It hurt so much I didn't know if I'd be up for my long run today. Or any runs this week.

I chose to go to sleep early Saturday night, and slept in a little. I rested awhile Sunday afternoon. I felt better and decided I would try a run. But, I ran a three mile loop that circles a lake, ready to bail out if I hurt like yesterday, ready to accept my limits, unwilling to risk injury. I walked longer than usual. Then I ran slow for a few miles. I ran with mindfulness, watching my form and making sure I was hitting right on my foot, taking deep breaths. I felt really wonderful! Running is teaching me to make healthy choices- to sleep, drink a lot of water, eat healthy. A set training schedule is helping me stay focused, to exercise almost every day, to make time for myself. I know every run, every mile, "trials of miles and miles of trials" is important to build up to the marathon, and to run it without injury.

Running, my health, my once in a life time marathon goal, is more important to me than approval. I have limits and I will accept them. I will stop and rest when I need to. I will say no to demands, my own perfectionistic nature the most demanding of all, and accept I only have so much to give. A Life Lesson I've needed to learn for a long time.