Surrender

This morning when I got out of bed, I couldn't take a step. Pain shot up my heel. I had to hobble, holding on to the wall and doors. I researched plantar fasciitis. What Will, from his reading, and a friend of mine who ran track in college, have diagnosed me with. After reading, it did sound like what I have. Mayo clinic describes it as "pain and inflammation of a thick band of tissue, called the plantar fascia, which runs across the bottom of your foot — connecting your heel bone to your toes." It is most painful after sleeping, or anytime you sit for a long time. When I run it hardly hurts at all. It also sounded like an injury that can take a LONG time to heal (9 months or more,some people never run again). Well, I went back to bed- with ice, elevated my foot, and laid in bed crying and feeling sorry for myself.

Why so upset, I asked myself. I've never really liked running, or felt a natural talent at it, unlike biking where I could power up hills and keep up with most anyone I tried to. Once I finally commit to something, I hate to quit. The stories in Born to Run of ultramarathoners and Africans who can run down prey were inspirational and fired me up to want to run. There are some amazing, mentally and physically strong, humans in the world. It also made me want to run correctly. Ironically, I think it was the time in vibrams, and running correctly that lead to tightened calves, which put stress on my Achilles, and lead to this injury. I think I just rushed things after running incorrectly and having very weak feet from previous ankle injuries.

But, the more I thought about it, the more another plan formed. I will get stronger and then try running again. As I've found out, every muscle is interconnected, and one weak spot can have a domino effect. I keep reading about running from the core- and mine could use some work. So, I looked into pilates classes today. I also plan on doing more weight lifting. And, for aerobics I'll ride. Something I've always really enjoyed.

The money and time I've spent training for this marathon, and registering, is not a waste. I am healthier and stronger for the training I've done so far (well, once I can walk again). I've firmly ingrained daily exercise into my routine. I'm eating healthier.

I kicked myself out of bed, grabbed my mountain bike, and enjoyed a fun ride up Brushy Creek. Surrounded by trees, finally showing signs of fall, butterflies and birds, and a creek's sparkling water on a perfect 75 degree day, it was hard to feel sorry for myself. As I took a bit of a challenging trail off the side of one, and had to turn sharp and then climb steep, I remembered I love mountain biking. So, if this is all I can do for now, I'm grateful and happy.

I did try walking on the crushed granite (a remedy for PF in a book called Chi Running) and soaked it in the cold river. You all are my witnesses- I will not run again until my heel feels perfectly normal (even in the morning). But, I can help it along a little...

Tonight I am looking forward to my friend and fellow doula coming to give me, and especially my foot, a massage.

Is now the time to change my blog title? No, because some day I am going to run a marathon. I am surrendering to the very real possibility I may not run the marathon in February, but I still have hope someday I can run one. For readers of this blog, you'll have to be as patient as I am:)

Today's Exercise:
Bike ride (didn't keep track of time or distance today)
Crunches and Obliques
Weights- arms and legs